


I'm Losing Myself

by Experiment413



Category: Fandomstuck - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse, Brother-Sister Relationships, Ectobiology, Family, Gangs, Gen, Minor Character Death, Nuclear Warfare, mentioned torture, or rather the results of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-13 09:00:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5702680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Experiment413/pseuds/Experiment413
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is no escape from nuclear war.<br/>Especially not from what it does to a person.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Losing Myself

**Author's Note:**

> whooooa i'm killing writer's block

She barely made it.

 

Portal came to a sudden halt, sliding in the dirt, gasping for her breath.

 

Gone, in front of her, with a sudden bang.

She shook her head, and ran on.

 

There is no escape from nuclear war.

 

Even Portal, the speediest of the seven Valve siblings, couldn’t outrun a nuclear bomb, especially not several.

After hours of extra running and wasting her oxygen, she swore she took in a million times the needed dosage of radiation to kill her, whatever it was.

 

She lied down in the abandoned house she’d found. Was she crying, or sweating from the run?

No, no, these were tears.

 

Tears for the family lost. The friends. The loved ones.

Everyone was probably gone at this rate.

 

She took a second to look back.

 

She’d wasted a year of her life in cryosleep. Early years were spent with family, then things started to… fade.

 

She remembered when the family snapped right in half, and when it continued to devour and split itself, her efforts gone to waste on trying to rebuild it.

.. Did she really waste her whole life?

 

Her tugged her tattered, formerly bright orange jacket closer to her body. Her heterochromatic eyes scanned the room. She sat up, wiping her tears away.

 

Her name was Caroline Valve, and she’d wasted 18 years of her life on a family that was destined to break apart, 18 years as the youngest trying to overpower the eldest of them all, 18 years believing she could make it.

 

In years to come, this is why she’d give in to Tumblr.

 

She was losing herself to anger, to paranoia, to the side effects of expired medication, to nuclear fallout, to war, to a sniper rifle, to a home that was defiled by the years it was never used.

 

Of course, she had one help.

She never forgot him.

 

She never forgot guarding her gang’s base, rifle in hand, squinting out into the wasteland.

She never forgot how she’d nearly shot her dearest brother.

She never forgot the look on Fortress’s face when he saw how many she’d saved, how many of her cousins she’d recovered in order to form a functioning gang of scavengers, survivors of the warzone.

She’d never forget Conversion, her little ectosister, with that huge smile on her face at the sight of her ectobrother alive and well, as she cheered in a croaky, dying voice, “Fort! Fort!”

 

She’d never forgotten how short that period lasted, when Libertas was completed, and when Tumblr rose to power.

He took the survivors, the bandits, the gangs,  _ her _ gang, how he killed Aperture Tag when she yelled that everything he was saying was a complete and utter lie, how he shot Conversion to death when she was least expecting it--

 

28-year-old Portal woke with a shock, tears streaming down her face. Fortress was knocking on the door to her room.

She got up, opened the door, and hugged her brother tightly.

He hesitated before he hugged back.

 

“You were yelling,” he said.

She nodded. Her mouth hurt- the stitches had pulled.

“Nightmares?” he asked.

Another nod.

“Mom’s still awake. She’s downstairs. Want to come talk to her and me?”

‘Go sleep,’ Portal signed, and shoved him away slightly.

“Port,” he sighed. “Come on.”

‘You need it more than I do.’

She was right, he had to admit.

 

Fortress nodded, and walked back to his room.

 

Portal shut the door to her room, and stepped quietly over to the clouded and darkened window. This was the only way to see out of the top floor without anyone seeing in. They were a secret, the rebels of Libertas, reformed. One big family, even if it did consist of dragons and robots and… whatever Night Vale was or had been.

 

The city of Libertas was dark. Few streetlights lit up the streets, mostly wrecked from war and rebellion.

 

Maybe she was losing her mind, but she did have one thing keeping her together.

Family.

  
It’s all she ever wanted.


End file.
